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Writer's pictureDr. Alfredo Petrone

Your Pain Is Real, and I Hear You: A Compassionate Approach to Chronic Pain

Living with chronic pain can be a difficult and isolating experience. It can affect your ability to move, work, and enjoy life. Too often, people with pain feel misunderstood, as if their concerns are dismissed or minimized. It’s crucial to recognize that your pain is real. Acknowledging this reality is the first step toward a pathway of understanding and relief. This perspective is central to modern approaches in pain management, emphasizing the importance of education, active participation, and a supportive environment.

I recently attended a Key Note Speech and seminar from Danish research, Jan Hartvigen. Jan has been a pioneer in the field of back pain research, emphasizing that pain is not just a physical sensation—it’s a complex experience that can involve emotional and psychological factors. Hartvigsen’s work has been instrumental in reshaping how healthcare professionals approach chronic back pain, emphasizing the importance of listening to patients' stories and understanding the context of their pain.


Pain is influenced by stress, mental well-being, and past experiences, and every individual's story is unique. This understanding challenges the idea that pain is only a result of physical injury or degeneration, which is especially relevant for those who have heard phrases like “it’s all in your head” or "you should feel better by now." Hartvigsen’s research insists that pain is real, no matter its source, and deserves validation and a thoughtful approach.


Why Listening Matters in Pain Management


When you visit a healthcare professional, being truly heard can make a world of difference. Pain is not just a symptom to be treated; it's a message your body is sending about its condition. It's important to also understand that pain is an alarm and doesn't necessarily mean harm. For example, imagine you get up in the middle of the night to go use the washroom and step on a piece of lego. The pain here may be close to 10/10 but if you were to look at your foot after there is no actual damage to the bottom of your foot. It was an alarm system going off to your brain.


Effective care involves listening deeply to your experiences, validating your pain, and crafting a plan that aligns with your needs and goals.


Listening to patients means addressing concerns like:


  • Fear of movement: Chronic pain often creates a belief that certain movements are unsafe. Educating patients about pain and gently guiding them back into activity can help alleviate these fears. This is something, that as a chiropractor, I often encourage especially in the office after an assessment.


  • Desire for active participation: People want to feel that they are part of their recovery, not just passive recipients of care. You are and should always be part of your own recovery and healing.


  • The emotional toll of chronic pain: Understanding how pain affects mood, sleep, and social interactions is key to creating a more comprehensive approach. Pain really can effect so many aspects of life.


How This Approach Can Help You Find Relief


The combination of education, active involvement, and compassionate listening can be transformative in managing chronic pain. These principles remind us that progress isn't about eliminating pain overnight but about gaining the tools to manage it better.


When you understand your pain, you can:


  • Move with greater confidence, knowing that many activities can be safe and beneficial.


  • Break the cycle of fear and avoidance.


  • Build strength and flexibility, contributing to long-term relief.


  • Feel validated, reducing the stress and anxiety that often make pain worse.


A Path Forward


If you’re struggling with chronic pain, know that your experience is valid. The journey to better management starts with understanding and support. A compassionate approach, grounded in listening, empowering, and guiding you, can make a significant difference in how you experience pain.


Remember, your pain is real, and we hear you. There is hope, and with the right approach, there are ways to manage and even reduce the impact of pain on your life. Let’s take this journey toward relief together.



Dr. Alfredo is a health enthusiast who’s goal is to help people and families live healthier, happier lives. My philosophy on health is simple - our body’s have the amazing ability and potential to self-adapt, self-regulate and THRIVE in this world.

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